Winning Life...Literally

I AM WINNING! THE WORLD IS MY PLANET! NO!!!THE UNIVERSE!!! Let me tell you why. I was just rotting away in my cell when suddenly my roommate waddled in and said "I can't believe they are just going to kill you. They should just let you suffer; you don't deserve the comfort of life!". After I was done killing him with the urinal, and getting upgraded to a five by five foot single cell.(They said upgrade and I disagree) I thought to myself that my old jail cell buddy (who's name is currently unclear to me) was right! I don't deserve to die...I am a wonderful person! So, I made death illegal! I am so happy that I am so smart. My silly partner would have never thought of that! But she is too much of a "Good Girl" to actually do anything as amazing as I do. Speaking of which, I remember one of the reasons I am here. It turns out that I "accidentally" burned down a hospital with a bucket of water. So until next time, your emperor! ~Brody